top1There is probably nothing worse than feeling completely insecure about your body when you are being intimate with someone, ammiright? Okay, maybe it’s worse to poop yourself in public, but this is a very close second. Baring it all with someone can be hard when you aren’t feeling very body positive, and hopping up on top of your man can ruin your fun when you’re worried about your belly rolls, sagging boobs, double chin, chunky thighs, and- all. of. the. jiggling.

Here is my quick and dirty guide (no pun intended!) to getting over it, and getting on top.

So, you’re fat? You make sure to wear flattering clothing in accentuate your waistline, avoid scarves because they make it look like you have no neck, and wear those god damned uncomfortable heels to elongate your legs. You look fabulous, but fashion ain’t camouflage. Even camouflage ain’t camouflage. Because, really, we can still see you. The reality is, you’re fat. If you’re with a dude, he knows it. I promise you, there is not going to be a scenario where you are going to go and play-dough machine yourself out of your shape wear, and he is going to gasp and say “oh my God! You’re fat! How did I not notice – what with all of the clever disguises you wore…!” He knows. And yet, there he is…

My point is, if you are in a situation where you are going to be intimate with someone, they wan to be there! They obviously find you attractive, and want to be there in that moment with you. They aren’t looking at your soft center in disgust. They are looking a you and thinking, “I want to be on you.”

So, go for it. Hop up there and ride that cowboy with confidence.

But seriously. Have confidence. Above all else, men are attracted to confident women. So be one. Live in the moment and enjoy having intimate moments. You’re there, he’s there – who cares about your double chin?!

He doesn’t. I promise you. You are far more critical about yourself than he is. He wants to enjoy you and the moment – if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be there.

Also, you aren’t hurting him. He’s a grown-up. He can handle it. Don’t go easy on him.

Saddle up, lovely ladies!